This past weekend I was invited by my lovely friend Nicole to spend the weekend in Ocean City, NJ. So we’re on the beach, and I’m looking around and watching people – and naturally, I find certain words popping into my mind. I wasn’t sure how these words got there – I think it’s just natural from years and years of conditioning in a judgmental and labeling society, even if I don’t mean anything negative by thinking them. I then instead wanted to say “Look at all of these amazingly wonderful bodies!” and remove all labels and words that tried to come in and just let things be. To appreciate something for it’s real, raw beauty, you sometimes have to let go and forget what you’ve grown up to believe. So why do we label? I started thinking about this, labeling. One reason I think we label is because labeling is a tool for our minds to describe things. Like “short, tall, thin, fat.” They are descriptive words used to convey a picture. But what happens when we attach positive or negative meanings to these? We get other things like shame, discrimination, and a weird superiority system that really shouldn’t be there. Which brings me to the other, unfortunately, common reason that we label. I cannot tell you how many times I hear someone say something like “but she’s fat,” “but he’s short,” etc. like that is some sort of reason why something isn’t the ideal or is lesser than them. We’re all guilty of it. It made me think about why we bring others down – it is to make ourselves look/feel better? Some labeling is good, of course – but only when it has a positive connotation attached. And unfortunately, in the type of labeling/judging that I most often see, labeling isn’t usually positive. I think it’s most often used to separate ourselves from something that we don’t like. Or, it can even be used in moments of jealousy – to make someone seem lower than ourselves. I see this with girls all the time. It’s ugly. Why do most of us have a superiority complex? Why do we have to make ourselves feel better about ourselves? Why do we even have issues with ourselves? Are you seeing how weird this is? I think we’re just conditioned that we all have to be the ideal of the ideal of the ideal in order to achieve success, love, happiness. But we need to see that really, there is no “ideal.” It’s all a made-up idea and it’s all relative to opinion. So be your own ideal, and let your own ideal be you. I think what we can slowly do to change this is to love more. There is really only one thing more powerful than hate, and that is love. So seriously, love more. And when describing things, don’t do it in a hurtful way. If you feel jealous, don’t label – examine why you feel jealous – is it because you’re not giving yourself enough love? Are you ignoring your needs and desires? One thing I’ve learned from jealousy, through personal experience, is that it rarely has to do with the other person. It comes from inside, when you feel like you lack something. So take yourself, your life, and love it for what it is. And if you can’t love it, change it. Then put that love into someone else. We can affect the way we experience the world and the world experiences us. I just thought I’d share these thoughts, in case someone has anything to add or thinks differently. As the Beatles say, “The love you take is equal to the love you make.”
About The Author
Patricia Colli, Editor of Beutiful Magazine, is a human rights activist, equality advocate, and promoter of health, acceptance and wellbeing. Having experienced disordered eating, unhealthy exercise patterns and poor body image, she is especially passionate about shedding light on eating disorders and the power of body acceptance.
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